"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."
From: jokesgallery.com
Monday, October 15, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Pepsi and Coke Rivalry Gets Physical
The long-standing rivalry between Coke and Pepsi took a physical turn Friday when a Pepsi deliveryman allegedly punched his Coke counterpart in the face at a western Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, state police said.
The two deliverymen were "apparently bickering back and forth" while unloading their wares at the Indiana County store, police said. When the Coke deliveryman left the store, his counterpart allegedly punched him in the face three times, breaking his nose and giving him a black eye, police said.
No charges have been filed, but police characterized the incident as a misdemeanor simple assault
From The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Top 10 Movies
This was put on me today, What are the Top 10 Movies of All Time?. That's a might big question because it can be debated endlessly. So what I thought I would do is list my personal favorite movies of all time. They are not the best of all time, well, maybe a couple of them are, but there are my favs. So here we go in no particular order.....
My Top 10 Favorite Movies of All Time:
Pulp Fiction--This is the film that made a John Travolta fan of me. Before this, I really had no opinion of him, but along came Pulp Fiction and BAM! It was also the first Tarantino movie I had watched and said to myself "I gotta see more of this guy's stuff!"
Lord of the Rings Trilogy--When I was watching these movies, it looked just like I had imagined when reading the books. Tolkien created an entire world that seems like it could go on forever.
The Big Lebowski--John Goodman is a God among actors. The Coen brothers finest piece of work. And wouldn't we all like to hang out with The Dude!
The Godfather--This may be the greatest series of movies ever made.
A Christmas Story--The legendary story of Ralphie and his need for a Red Ryder BB Gun. This movie was just plain fun and is still a Christmas tradition.
Donnie Brasco--Al Pacino pulls off an incredible feat by actually making you feel sympathy for a bad guy mob hitman and Johnny Depp in my personal favorite role of his.
Austin Powers--Another great trilogy. I have seen each movie so many times and can quote most of the lines.
Saving Private Ryan--This movie had such a realistic feal to it and the story telling was incredible.
Boogie Nights--"How much ya squat?" With that line from Reed Rothchild, I was hooked. The rise and fall of a porn star made for compelling viewing and the cast was full of all-stars.
All the rest are tied. I mean really, I don't think I have ever watched a truly awful movie.
My Top 10 Favorite Movies of All Time:
Pulp Fiction--This is the film that made a John Travolta fan of me. Before this, I really had no opinion of him, but along came Pulp Fiction and BAM! It was also the first Tarantino movie I had watched and said to myself "I gotta see more of this guy's stuff!"
Lord of the Rings Trilogy--When I was watching these movies, it looked just like I had imagined when reading the books. Tolkien created an entire world that seems like it could go on forever.
The Big Lebowski--John Goodman is a God among actors. The Coen brothers finest piece of work. And wouldn't we all like to hang out with The Dude!
The Godfather--This may be the greatest series of movies ever made.
A Christmas Story--The legendary story of Ralphie and his need for a Red Ryder BB Gun. This movie was just plain fun and is still a Christmas tradition.
Donnie Brasco--Al Pacino pulls off an incredible feat by actually making you feel sympathy for a bad guy mob hitman and Johnny Depp in my personal favorite role of his.
Austin Powers--Another great trilogy. I have seen each movie so many times and can quote most of the lines.
Saving Private Ryan--This movie had such a realistic feal to it and the story telling was incredible.
Boogie Nights--"How much ya squat?" With that line from Reed Rothchild, I was hooked. The rise and fall of a porn star made for compelling viewing and the cast was full of all-stars.
All the rest are tied. I mean really, I don't think I have ever watched a truly awful movie.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
What makes a blog?
Really? What do people want to see when they visit a blog? Do people want a lot of bells and whistles, or do they want something simple to read? How about a combination of both?
We all know what we want our blogs to be, but, if it doesn't appeal to the masses, will anybody come around for a second visit? For me personally, I find that I re-visit blogs that are updated on a fairly regular basis. And I like to see unique gadgets and things up and down the sidebar as well. One without the other doesn't really hold my attention. But the real meat and potatoes of it all is, are you entertained by what you are reading?
In the past, I have found that I write new entries for a blog almost everyday, and find out that I've had like 3 visitors all week! That gets pretty discouraging after a while and I'v just given up. But this time I have decided that since I have several friends who enjoy hearing my take on a variety of subjects, I am going to just keep on keeping on and update my blog everyday. And....I'm willing to make a deal with you. If you visit my blog, I'll visit yours. If you link to my blog, I'll link to yours. If you leave me a comment, I'll leave you one as well. I'm hoping that I can actually reach out and speak to more than just my friends this way.
And since I just mentioned it, please leave me some comments and let me know what YOU like to see when you visit a new blog, what keeps bringing you back, and where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
We all know what we want our blogs to be, but, if it doesn't appeal to the masses, will anybody come around for a second visit? For me personally, I find that I re-visit blogs that are updated on a fairly regular basis. And I like to see unique gadgets and things up and down the sidebar as well. One without the other doesn't really hold my attention. But the real meat and potatoes of it all is, are you entertained by what you are reading?
In the past, I have found that I write new entries for a blog almost everyday, and find out that I've had like 3 visitors all week! That gets pretty discouraging after a while and I'v just given up. But this time I have decided that since I have several friends who enjoy hearing my take on a variety of subjects, I am going to just keep on keeping on and update my blog everyday. And....I'm willing to make a deal with you. If you visit my blog, I'll visit yours. If you link to my blog, I'll link to yours. If you leave me a comment, I'll leave you one as well. I'm hoping that I can actually reach out and speak to more than just my friends this way.
And since I just mentioned it, please leave me some comments and let me know what YOU like to see when you visit a new blog, what keeps bringing you back, and where in the world is Carmen San Diego?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
